Divorce affects every aspect of life: economic, physical, emotional, and social. Men and women experience and interpret these situations differently. If you are divorcing, it’s best to know what to expect so you can develop strategies that help you navigate through the process to protect your health and well-being along the journey.
Women often fare worse economically after a divorce than men do. Career decisions are often made around the care of the children earlier in the marriage. So career advancement may not have been pursued due to family commitments, and if not working it is often hard to pick up or get back into your chosen career after a long period of time away.
Women often choose lower-paying jobs for the flexibility to be available and around for children and take roles around school hours. There are many expenses associated with child-rearing, and although settlements are supposed to consider these factors, they sometimes do not compensate sufficiently, nor do they consider the mother’s decreased earning potential.
Conversely, the husband’s economic position is usually stronger throughout the marriage and often improves upon divorce. However, studies show that this is the only way in which men fare better than women in divorce.
Divorced men have a higher mortality rate than married men or divorced women, and have a greater decline in overall health. Since wives often encourage their husbands to engage in healthy choices of food and activity, divorced men, now without wives to encourage them and with the increased stress of divorce, can fall into bad eating patterns, gain weight, and turn to alcohol for support.
Wives tend to make close relationships outside their home, while husbands usually socialise with their wives and work colleagues. For this reason, when divorce happens, the wife has friends and family to turn to, while the husband can often feel isolated.
Women are more likely to seek emotional or psychological support from friends or professionals to help them through the grief or anger of divorce. Men, however, are more likely to skip the grieving process and internalise their pain. Men, in general, are less likely to discuss their feelings, and if they do, it would have usually been with their wives. Divorced men no longer have that support.
Because men can become lonely and often skip the grieving process, they jump into new relationships faster than women do and tend to remarry faster. Women take the time to understand their feelings and often evaluate what went wrong. They tend not to rush back into a new relationship, which often results in staying single.
Divorced mothers may feel more fulfilled in motherhood, than divorced fathers feel about fatherhood. Since fathers usually do not get full custody, they often miss their children and the busyness of homelife. They miss the sporting events, school events, even helping with homework. And since they are not as adept at communication they’re less likely to pick up the phone, talk to the kids, and ask them how their day was. This can cause even more drifting apart, which further damages the man’s emotional and physical health.
Talk to the team at Equal Exes, our divorce coaches can help individuals or couples navigate the divorce process. As specialists in divorce and separation we use tried and proven workbooks, tools, coaching and many other resources to create a roadmap and plan for the future ahead.
Phone: 09 302 0667