Parenting and Children is a crucial cornerstone for the Equal Exes programme. I am often asked when clients are going through the divorce/separation process what they should say and what they should not say to their children about their impending divorce or separation. This article will help you sort out your own thoughts and plan what to say.
What you say to them really depends on the age of the children. Older children will have a different understanding than younger ones.
Since there are stages that you may go through from separate bedrooms through to actually moving out of the family home, we suggest some ways you can tell your kids about what is happening.
The table below will give you a guideline as to what to say to your children at whatever their age.
This is a really challenging time for you. We’ve got your back – keep on reading this article and get a pen and paper ready to write down your thoughts as you go.
This table sets out general principles which you can use to plan the discussion with your children.
There are some things you and your ex will need to agree beforehand so that what you tell the children is very clear and they can understand it.
Thinking about the best interests of your children, there are some do’s and don’ts in relation to what you say to your children about your divorce/separation.
Going through a divorce can take from 18 months to 2 years and there are some clear stages which you will pass through. We set out below some areas where you can plan ahead about what to say to the kids – again, it’s usually best to agree these messages with your ex ahead of time.
There are also a number of common worries that children have when they are in the middle of this difficult process.
Go to our Cornerstone page Parenting and Children and take the quiz to work out your situation.
There’s also a Parenting Workbook to help you work out your own needs on the same page.